Hurt Meets Healer Podcast

Solving vs Fixing: The Path to Relationship Healing

Kim Capps Season 1 Episode 15
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00:00 | 44:27

When it comes to healing from betrayal trauma and addiction, are you trying to fix a problem or solve it? There's a profound difference, and it could determine whether your recovery lasts or fails.

Fixing applies a temporary patch to immediate symptoms. Like vacuuming only the visible parts of a room while ignoring what's under the furniture, it creates an illusion of completeness when crucial work remains undone. Solving, however, addresses root causes and creates sustainable change through an ongoing process of growth and healing.

This distinction shapes our recovery. True repentance isn't just saying "sorry" when caught, but repeatedly allowing your heart to be softened until change becomes natural. Healing requires individual work alongside couple's work—you can't "fix" another person, but you can partner to clean up the mess together, each taking responsibility for your own healing journey.

Trust issues exist on both sides. The betrayed partner wonders if they're getting the complete truth, watching for "uncleaned corners" that signal continued deception. Meanwhile, the betraying partner must overcome shame to share vulnerably, learning that missing something doesn't define their character but offers an opportunity to grow.

Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, transformation happens through a God-designed process that can't be rushed. We grow incrementally through repeated choices to respond differently, fight through shame, and practice vulnerability when hiding feels safer. These small changes compound to create lasting transformation.

What part of your recovery journey are you trying to fix when you should be solving? Share your experience or ask questions about process-oriented healing approaches. Your story matters, and we're here to listen.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.


This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
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