Hurt Meets Healer Podcast
Hurt people, hurt people. Are you ready to work through the pain of your past? Healing is possible! Join us on our healing journey, a journey to freedom, where you'll get straight truth from genuine people.
We use our story and experience to help others walk through the trauma of intimate betrayal. This is raw and real talk from average people who are walking the path of healing.
Kim is a Certified Professional Mentor™ through BraveHearts University, and a Certified Christian Life Coach through the Board of Christian Life Coaching.
Hurt Meets Healer Podcast
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2
Sexual betrayal shatters the sacred covenant of marriage, creating complex decisions about whether to stay or leave after such devastating violations of trust and commitment. We examine seven critical indicators that signal when leaving might be necessary while offering practical guidance for those navigating this painful journey.
• Ongoing or unrepentant infidelity makes relationships unsustainable, especially when the unfaithful spouse refuses to take responsibility
• Sexual betrayal often comes with emotional abuse such as gaslighting, manipulation, or shaming that creates unsafe environments
• Trust is marriage's bedrock, and when irreparably damaged, relationships may no longer be viable despite attempts at reconciliation
• Rebuilding after betrayal requires mutual commitment—if your spouse refuses counseling or transparency, they're unwilling to do necessary work
• Personal harm occurs when staying erodes your mental health, self-worth and spiritual well-being if pain remains unaddressed
• Violation of core values like fidelity requires knowing what you authentically believe so you can stay congruent with your boundaries
• Enabling destructive behavior through excuses or refusing to establish consequences allows harmful patterns to continue
Healing requires genuine remorse, complete transparency, professional support, and consistent effort over years—not weeks or months. If you're walking through betrayal trauma, reach out to us at www.hurtmeetshealer.com. We'd be honored to come alongside and guide you on your healing journey.
Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.
Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.
This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.
Kim Capps ministry that was created to help individuals and couples who are walking through the devastating impact of sexual addiction and infidelity. Thanks for joining me today. Hey y'all, and welcome back. I'm hearing something weird here in my ears. Let me see if I can't fix my stuff. All right, am I echoing out of your Wow, interesting, we're far apart too. Well, welcome y'all. I will figure out this whole situation another time.
Speaker 2:It's all the creatine.
Speaker 1:That's right, I can see through walls. Hey y'all, welcome to the Hurt Me Tealer podcast. I am Kim, and John is here again.
Speaker 2:Yes, thanks for allowing me to participate.
Speaker 1:You bet You're on good behavior, Right. Good hall pass tonight there, All right. So we are on part two of a very cringey topic. If you will, should I stay or should I go? And on this episode we're discussing that topic around sexual betrayal in marriage, of deciding whether to leave a marriage after sexual betrayal, which is infidelity affairs, other forms of sexual unfaithfulness because it's so deeply painful and it's really a complex decision.
Speaker 1:Sexual betrayal violates the sacred covenant of marriage. It violates what the Bible says about marriage, and so getting your mind wrapped around this, I think is beneficial. I think is beneficial especially for the betrayed spouse to understand. Okay, this is what's going on, and the first thing I think you have to do is face reality of what the truth is, because typically the addict is not going to and I use addict because we specialize in sexual addiction and the betrayal that comes through that in a marriage and when you're dealing with the addict in their, their messed up way of thinking it's, it's, I think, necessary to have this information as a safety net, if you will. What do you think, john?
Speaker 2:I think, uh, just like the last episode, this is just such an extraordinarily pain-riddled topic that it's you know, if you're close enough to it to feel the pain it's sometimes hard to be objective on either side, in that very humble place of just saying it's such extraordinarily painful that it's just hard to be objective, because if you're on your side of the desk and dealing with the pain of facing the infidelity and all of that, it's hard to be objective because you just want to protect, you want to stop hurting, you just want the pain to stop. And on the other side of the desk on my side of the desk, and on the other side of the desk, on my side of the desk, the search for some sort of no, this can't be happening, and how do I make it stop, and surely the Bible doesn't say that, and all of these other things that we grasp at out of fear, and all those things.
Speaker 1:I recognize both sides of that and so I try to be very careful in how I respond to these All righty. So when leaving a marriage due to sexual betrayal may be necessary. There are seven bullet points on that that we're going to run through tonight, and it's warranted in the following situations particularly when the betrayal fundamentally undermines the marriage's foundation of trust, safety and mutual commitment, which I think, if it's a sexual betrayal, it has done that already, just by the name of it by definition.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1:So number one is ongoing or unrepentant infidelity. That's oh my gosh, yeah, that's a deal breaker. It's persistent betrayal, it just continues and it doesn't allow the betrayed spouse to get any kind of relief or well, relief is the big word, a break from unfaithfulness. It just keeps hitting you and I remember that feeling of oh my gosh, it seemed like every week, for there were just lie, there was a lie, it was trickle-out disclosure of what was going on with us and along with just flat-out lying. So if the unfaithful spouse continues the affair or engages in repeated infidelity without remorse or effort to change repeated infidelity without remorse or effort to change, the marriage most likely will become unsustainable. And a lot of people claim that in Malachi God says oh, he divorced. You know what he hated? That the guys were leaving the wives destitute. That's what he hated. He, absolutely, I believe, because he divorced, he was willing to divorce Israel, his bride. And so my opinion again, this is just, kim from Texas, this is my opinion.
Speaker 1:You can have your own biblical view on it. The Bible permits divorce in cases of sexual immorality Matthew 19, where Jesus says anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery. Now does that mean that you have to divorce and then marry, or can you just divorce and it be okay? Do you have to do that and marry? And that's what makes it bad. I'm getting into the nitty gritty and that's like not where we're headed tonight. So I have all these deep questions that that wasn't even deep, that was just like if this, then that.
Speaker 2:So do you have to?
Speaker 1:do the whole thing or is it just part of that? So do you have to do the whole thing or is it just part of that? So it's really the lack of accountability that I think when the spouse refuses to take responsibility, puts the blame on the betrayed spouse and shows no genuine repentance. And shows no genuine repentance and how you show that is you in the affair. You get helpful counseling. You don't go to a buddy and say, oh yeah, well, I counseled with Marky Mark over here and I'm good to go. No, you get help, specific help for that particular ailment, help for that particular ailment of addiction that you have, and you begin to rebuild trust. That's big time important. And so if they are refusing to take responsibility, doing all these things, then if you stay with them, it could potentially cause you more harm.
Speaker 1:So you know the Bible says that godly sorrow leads to change, not just apologies. And I have a saying that says sorry stops. When you say you're sorry, you stop doing the action that is hurting another person. Sorry stops, it doesn't continue on. And I know I experienced a lot of gosh. I wish I had like a thesaurus or dictionary in my brain. I do not, I have to come up with stuff on the fly and that's how I make up words, so you may hear words that are not actually in a dictionary because I'm making them up on the spot.
Speaker 1:But I experienced a lot of, I want to say, half sorry, really not ingenuous, disingenuous, disingenuous. There we go, that's the word I'm looking for. Sorries, it was more of oh, I'm sorry, I got caught, oh, I'm sorry you feel that way, and that one ooh, that'll get you throat punched right there. It really a sorry stops the behavior and changes. And so the big sign is the unfaithful spouse. If they are unwilling to end the actions and activities that are causing the deception and if they're still participating in deceptive behavior, that's a big sign that it may be necessary to leave. You want to do number two?
Speaker 2:All right Abuse or manipulation tied to betrayal. Sexual betrayal often comes with emotional abuse, such as gaslighting it's your fault, I cheated manipulation or shaming. If the betraying spouse uses the infidelity to control or demean you, leaving may be necessary to protect your dignity and mental health. Psalm 11.5 suggests God opposes those who harm others. God opposes those who harm others. And the next bullet point here is you're in an unsafe environment. And if the betrayal involves reckless behavior, exposing you to STIs, or creates an emotionally unsafe space, prioritizing your safety is critical, and that can include your emotional safety as well as your physical safety. So you feel safe. Some of the signs might be you feel safe or unsafe, humiliated, coerced into accepting the betrayal against your values. And that's a huge red flag. Is you know if you're trying to be persuaded or manipulated into accepting intolerable or tolerating the intolerable? That's a big red flag.
Speaker 1:The devil made me do it Right, it right. Well, if you had given me this, well, if you had just said yes more often. Well, if you you wouldn't raise your, if you wouldn't ask so many questions. Kim, a million questions, good lord, I had to go run to this woman's arms. I had to. Yeah, definite manipulation.
Speaker 1:Huge sign and I will speak to the betrayed spouse is listen to your intuition, listen to yourself, get in tune with how your body feels. We do check-ins when, uh, in my coaching sessions, I do check-ins and just to check in with how are you checking in right now? And we really I've been taught through the years to where do I feel that we, we get kind of disconnected from our bodies. But where is that being felt in my body? And the reason that is is God gave us those senses as sometimes warning lights. If you have a pain, if I have a pain in my side, oh, I might need to go get that checked out. That's a warning sign that something's going on. Now it may be just a gas bubble, or I hit the wall walking through the doors, you know whatever, but it's a warning sign that something's wrong. So listen, listen to your intuition, listen to your body. And if you feel unsafe, please take action to get safe, action to get safe.
Speaker 1:So number three is irreparable loss of trust. And holy moly. Trust is the bedrock of a relationship, especially a marriage, and sexual betrayal just blows that to smithereens. Just blows that to smithereens, shatters it into a gazillion pieces. And if you've done counseling, if you've given them time, if you've attempted reconciliation and you cannot build trust or feel secure, then that relationship, it just might be no longer viable. And so a marriage is supposed to be honorable. The Bible calls it honorable and it warns against defiling it through adultery many times over, many times over. And so the sign is if you are consumed by fear, resentment or hypervigilance those are trauma responses then these and these feelings persist. If they continue on, despite efforts to heal. That's a sign that I wanted to use, bill Ingvall, here's your sign. But that may, that's a sign that separation might be necessary.
Speaker 1:And then number four is refusal to engage in restoration. So rebuilding a marriage, especially following infidelity, it requires commitment and it requires mutual commitment. And I will say I wasn't committed. Well, you know, at the beginning I was, but then, as the lies continued, as the deceptions continued, as the trickle out. I'm going to tell you some, but I'm not going to tell you all.
Speaker 1:But then I'm going to lie about what I am telling you. I just I became, nah, I'm nope. You need to get help. And when you get help and begin to get on a track, then we can talk restoration. But until then we are going to live separately, and that's what I did and that's how I had to, and that's what I did and that's how I had to. That's how I chose to stay sane through the insanity that is this recovery journey, especially for addicts who are high egotistical dudes who have to be right. You add sexual betrayal to a high egotistical entitlement mentality and it's a recipe for disaster. And so if the unfaithful spouse refuses to participate in restoring the marriage which was in our case you wanted that because you could hide behind that and not have to dig into your own stuff. That's what I think.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, and that may have been the case. It's hard to unpack those fears because, ultimately, that's what was driving. A lot of it was fear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were hiding dude, you were not open. And that's a requirement. That's a requirement, you know, sharing things, addressing the underlying issues. That was not a forte for you. It's still not a forte. It's still not.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's still something I'm working on, growing in and around, and I do think that God brings us together to create something new. You've got strengths that I don't, and I've got strengths that I don't, and I've got strengths that you don't and I've got friends in low places Right. And so when we use those for our collective good, then that's that's honoring god. And so, yeah, it's a, it is a difficult journey and it has been a bucket.
Speaker 1:Yes, bucket of suck. Yeah, so refusal to engage in restoration and the sign is the betraying spouse is disengaged, defensive or unwilling to do the hard work of rebuilding trust, and I think that looks like well, even one, two and three. It looks like blaming. It looks like putting it on the betrayed spouse to make things right when they're thrown into this ditch, torn up, beat up, and you have a little sliver cut and you want us to get up out of the ditch and come put a Band-Aid on your little cut. To me that's a refusal to engage in restoration.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You want to do number five?
Speaker 2:restoration Right you want to do number five Personal harm or loss of self. Staying in a marriage after sexual betrayal just can erode your mental health, self-worth and your spiritual well-being if the pain remains unaddressed. So oftentimes, if you feel trapped, feel like you're losing your yourself, your identity, and you struggle with depression and anxiety due to the betrayal, leaving might be an act of self-stewardship. Back again to that first corinthians passage about your body being a temple in chapter 6. And so you begin to feel that one of the signs, or some of the signs, are that you begin to feel diminished. It seems like you're unable to heal or you're disconnected from your sense of self, sense of purpose, your sense of being.
Speaker 2:Being, yeah, and just your identity as a person, and so those are things that have to be addressed, and it's important that we don't put too much emphasis on what our feelings are telling us, but we also don't ignore them either, because remember that feelings aren't factual all the time. Sometimes they're just feelings.
Speaker 1:They're information.
Speaker 1:Right, and so we have to explore those and, like you said, be connected and discover what it is that's underlying it, and I've allowed my feelings to take the lead, and they've led me off many cliffs, and so yeah, I think the big one is the inability to heal, because you keep getting hit with the manipulation and the blame, and that happened to me, and that was one of the reasons I had to separate and get it. It was just I had you can't remain, you can't get healthy living swimming in a pool of unhealth, right? And so, yeah, that was one of the things for me. And so, number six, violation of your core values or boundaries. And so, for me, fidelity, not infidelity, but fidelity is a non-negotiable boundary, absolutely. And the betrayal crossed that line irrevocably. And so me, I don't know that, separating aligned with my values, but I had to get distance, I had to separate from the craziness. There was so much manipulation and crazy making and blame going on, and I had to get distance just for my body to settle down. I was so tense. Just for my body to settle down, I was so tense.
Speaker 1:And so, and you know, as we know, the Bible encourages forgiveness. Of course, absolutely, we forgive, but that doesn't require staying in an unhealthy marriage where your emotional, mental health is at stake, your physical health is at stake. And so, watching for these signs in yourself, and that the first thing is, you have to know what you believe. But the first thing is you have to know what you believe. And if you have been told what you believe all your life instead of really discovering what you believe, that's my story. I encourage you to get some time to yourself, maybe early in the morning, before kids get up, before things start rolling for your day, and really start doing some that, hey, this is what I believe and what you're doing, friend, husband, is not in line with what I believe a marriage should be. And that way you're not compromising your integrity, you're staying congruent with who you know yourself to be. So get to know yourself and that way, when these things happen, you will actually know hey, that is a non-negotiable boundary for me.
Speaker 1:And then seven and we talked about this a little bit last episode is enabling destructive behavior. I'm guilty of it, making excuses, I didn't want what I thought was going on to be the truth and I believed you, john, when you said I've dealt with it, I've done with you, know all the things that you told me through the years. The marriage bed is undefiled. And until I discovered for myself y'all, I became a knowledge freak, a wisdom. I really started praying God, give me wisdom, give me understanding of who you are, god, so that I can stop my unhealthy behavior of enabling this person, my husband, to be destructive to our marriage and so destructive to our marriage. And so, fortunately, god's faithful and he is crazy in love with us, and he gave me the strength to address the betrayal and to stop being an enabler and to hold John accountable for what he was doing, to not take the bait that he was throwing out there that if I would just get my stuff together, if I would just forgive and forget, everything would be okay. That's absolutely incorrect. That's not the truth.
Speaker 1:And so I had to be strong and I had to really practice tough love, and that meant separating for a while, and that helped me get clarity, it helped me get space and it helped me honestly get really close to God and discover who God really is and what he says about me, not what John was saying about me that I had abandoned him and I was the controlling one and I'm a sinner too.
Speaker 1:Well, duh, anybody, look at me, watch my life. Of course I'm a sinner, good Lord, I could curse like a sailor. So the sign is that your presence allows the unfaithful spouse to avoid the consequences and to continue the harmful patterns. And I had to come to grips with the fact that the consequences for John were more than likely going to spill onto me. And it really pissed me off at first because we don't deserve the consequences of their actions. And yet here we are getting to swim in the pool of the consequences of infidelity. So, and if you can't hear my voice kind of beginning to get tainted a little bit, it's because I get tense and a little peckish, not peckish, I get a little punchy with it. All right, so anything you need to add to that there.
Speaker 2:No, it is just the reminder that it's just an incredibly hard topic, an incredibly unbelievably hard decision that you should never be in a position to have to make, never be in a position to have to make. And if you are, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:We know the pain that's associated with that. Yeah, for sure. So we'll go over some considerations before actually leaving just to help think these through and again, this is not an all-inclusive list here. This is just things that I came up with. Research. It's from my history, my experiences and the education that I am getting through my counseling, coaching and my certifications.
Speaker 2:So and just a reminder that the definition of leaving is, we're not saying, a divorce, which it may come to that, but that's not what the first line of defense is. Right, it's separating to allow space for calmer heads to prevail, if you will, which could be an in-home separation all the way to moving out scenario.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So because sexual betrayal is such a profound wound and I know so many who leaving isn't an option necessarily. They've got kids, they haven't worked in years and it's going to take some time to find a job, figure out what they can do if they do separate. So here are some things to consider, some steps to consider, and it does have some biblical and practical wisdom in there. The first is to seek clarity. Seek clarity, Go to God in prayer and get wise counsel. Boy, if I could wise counsel, you can get counsel from pretty much anywhere. You can go to YouTube and get counsel. Get wise counsel. Get someone trained in betrayal trauma. Get someone trained in addiction. Get someone trained in emotional and narcissistic abuse. Get someone trained in whatever is the issue that there are so many that it could be, but I cannot stress that enough to get wise counsel. And James 1.5 encourages us to pray for discernment and to consult trusted advisors, and so I just encourage that. So so much, so highly. So number two is if safe Now that's the caveat there If safe attempt reconciliation, and this is if the unfaithful spouse is genuinely repentant and willing to rebuild trust, not just in word, but in deed.
Speaker 1:They have to do it, Words have to meet actions and it's provable behavior over time. It takes time. Are they willing to stay the course over time? Then reconciliation may be possible. I remember you would say I'm all in, I'm 1,000% in, and make these big, overzealous statements.
Speaker 2:Grandiose yeah.
Speaker 1:And no, because here's what this requires. That didn't happen for a long time with us is full transparency, which means answering questions about the affair and sharing access to devices. It means being open, being humble. It also means getting professional support, and even though you did get support, boy, it took a while to find the right support, just because of the nature of your trauma and how you took that trauma and created such a fairytale world that you lived in for so long. There's a lot of programs out there Women in the Battle, brave Hearts, a Fair Recovery so many support. We support couples, we support individuals as well.
Speaker 1:The Hurt Meets Healer crew. And then time and patience, as healing often takes years. Y'all Itall, it is not a okay, I'm done with it once and done that. That's not how it happens. I'm sorry to say. It takes time and it again. Provable behavior over time and I'll even add another word. I've said it in many podcasts before episodes of consistent provable behavior over time, and then another.
Speaker 1:The final requirement on this attempting of reconciliation is that it requires forgiveness. And remember forgiveness is not saying what you did was okay, it's not ignoring the consequences and it's not restoring trust immediately. Forgiveness releases us, the hurt individual. It releases us from the damage of resentment and bitterness. It doesn't let them off the hook. It doesn't let the person that hurt us off the hook. It releases us and it allows us to give that to God, who knows full well how to perfectly perfectly get. And I told God this a lot. I'm like God, get him, go, get him, come on, get him. And so just a little side note there.
Speaker 1:And so then the third point to consider is assess the full context, which means considering factors like was the betrayal a one-time act or is it a pattern? Is my spouse remorseful? Are they taking concrete steps to do better, to change? Are they? Did they end the affair? Are they seeking help? They get incredible help or do we have kiddos, do we have kids in the mix and shared responsibility? That are going to require careful planning, and does staying in the relationship? Does that align with your spiritual and emotional health? So, consider those factors.
Speaker 1:And number four is prioritize safety and healing Boy. Safety is a big one for me. I prioritize safety a lot, and so if the betrayal involves abuse, be it physical, emotional or mental abuse, deception, health risk you know those wonderful transmitted diseases, risk, you know those wonderful transmitted diseases. Please prioritize your physical and emotional safety. Create a plan, get with a counselor, a coach, a support team. Create a plan. I would highly encourage you to not make on-the-spot, in in the huff decisions. I'm just leaving, I did that, been there, done that, got the t-shirt Boy. That did not turn out well for me. So create a safety plan. Prioritize safety and healing. And then the fifth note is to explore separation, which we've talked about a little bit on the separation side.
Speaker 1:Temporary separation can provide space. It did for us, yeah, it provided some good space to heal. You didn't like it and you were absolutely against it.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:But you did it.
Speaker 2:I did. And thank you for that, by the way, thank you for that Because it was important to me to give you that space that you needed. And it helped To heal from the wounds that I had caused.
Speaker 1:It helped immensely, except for the attitude that you had about it.
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 1:I struggled with that. I get it that you had about it.
Speaker 2:Well, I struggled with that.
Speaker 1:I get it and that will help to possibly not rush straight to divorce. Now I get there are instances that that's just going to be the case and it can also send a little information signal to the spouse that, hey, I'm serious about this, I'm serious, right. And then the last one is really important and that's the process your grief and anger. Anger is absolutely okay, it's part of the grief cycle, and sexual betrayal triggers anger, it triggers grief, it triggers shame. Anger it triggers grief, it triggers shame. Work through these emotions y'all. Get a good therapist, get reputable people, get coaching, get counseling, support groups. There are so many out there to help you work through that, so that you don't carry around resentment. Resentment just kills us. It's like taking poison, us drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It's not a healthy, healthy place to be. You know that very well.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, we all do. It'll kill you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So from a biblical perspective, what do you think, john? What's the Bible?
Speaker 2:Yeah, god really holds marriage as sacred. He created it and he hates the patterns of abuse that lead to divorce, and he so values and models faithfulness and he tells us to follow him, to follow his example of being faithful. And sexual betrayal breaks so many of the rules, so much of what God's established for us and really goes against the covenant, and there's clear teaching in Scripture that allows for divorce in that situation. That allows for divorce in that situation. So the good news is that grace and forgiveness covers a multitude of sin and Jesus hung on the cross to pay for all of it.
Speaker 2:And that doesn't mean at any point that it's easy, because it's incredibly difficult. But you don't have to stay. If you continue to be harmed and that's a part of the story the most loving thing that you might be able to do is separate, wake that person up and allow God to restore the marriage, or that person may become bitter and just leave, but that's their choice, and they've made some bad choices already, and so that one would just simply be compounding previous bad choices. But for me, the eye-opening piece of that was it really helped me to see the consequences of my sin, the consequences of my sin, and so it's not an easy conversation which is why I'm so hesitantly saying these things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, if you look at the research, it shows infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce, right and with get, this trust being the hardest element to rebuild. Imagine that Dr Shirley Glass, who is an infidelity expert, notes that healing requires the unfaithful spouse to show well, here's a big word empathy. Empathy, transparency and consistent effort, and I would say, if any one of these is absent, the betrayed spouse often faces prolonged trauma, which includes PTSD, complex PTSD, and studies also suggest that leaving may be healthier than staying in a marriage where trust cannot be restored, as chronic resentment harms mental and physical health. So should I stay or should I go?
Speaker 1:Well, when staying might be possible is if the unfaithful spouse is genuinely remorseful, they end the affair. They seek help. And again I'm going to say, seeking help is getting credible, reputable, plausible, all these words that go along that line. Help from reputable sources, people who are knowledgeable about and can help the person who committed the adultery to dig into what's going on inside of them, because it wasn't just they woke up and said, all right, I'm going to go have an affair. Something's going on inside them that needs to get fixed, to go have an affair, something's going on inside them that needs to get fixed. And so if they seek help, if they get and are open to accountability, they commit to rebuilding trust. You know, staying is a viable option.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of success stories and they involve couples. Therapy of success stories and they involve couples therapy, spiritual renewal, time Boy, it takes a long time. I think it takes three to five years myself. Some people can do it sooner, but it or more. We're on the, we're on the long plan. Don't follow I'd say don't follow our, our story, but please follow our story and hopefully you can learn what not to do and your plan will be a lot shorter than ours.
Speaker 1:However, staying y'all requires that you're willing to forgive and that you're willing and open to work through the pain. And it is hard, it's hard, it's hard, it's hard and it's a choice that you make. It's not an obligation. It's hard, it's hard, it's hard and it's a choice that you make. It's not an obligation, it's a choice. So final note is that leaving a marriage after sexual betrayal may be necessary if the infidelity is continuing, if your spouse is unrepentant and if it's accompanied by abuse, irreparable trust or irreparable trust or personal harm. And the Bible does allow for divorce in such cases, but it also encourages to seek wisdom and peace.
Speaker 1:And so, before deciding, explore if reconciliation is a safe option, seek professional support and prioritize your safety and your healing betrayed spouses, especially if kiddos are involved, plan carefully to minimize disruption in their life. And trust your gut, trust your discernment, stay on your knees, get wise counsel, and I know that you will know what's best for you if you do these things and you will choose the right path for you, because none of us I can't tell you what to do and you have to choose for yourself what the best option is. So thanks for listening to our little discussion on this topic. It is a hard one for us because I wanted to go many, many times. I wanted to leave, and I did. I went and lived in my she-shack for to leave, and I did. I went and lived in my she-shack for a while, and you lived in the RV for a while, and we managed to still run businesses together.
Speaker 2:And we're still here fighting and growing and healing, and it is an incredibly hard topic. So we encourage you. If you are in that spot, reach out to us. Let us come alongside.
Speaker 1:We'd be honored yes, and so this episode went a little bit long. But, like John said, this is a very hard topic. It is not a decision you just make willy-nilly overnight. Please, please, take time, get some good counsel and wisdom, stay on your knees before God, because he knows, he sees all and he is crazy in love with you. Thanks for joining us, y'all. I just bless you in the name of Jesus and I wish and pray for healing for your relationships. God can do it. We still have to do the hard work of forgiveness and working to rebuild trust and doing all those necessary steps to make it happen.
Speaker 2:Amen.
Speaker 1:All right, y'all. Until next time. Peace and blessings. Thank you for taking the time to listen today. Remember you are more than what happened to you. We'd be honored to come alongside and guide you on your healing journey. Connect with us at wwwhurtmeetshealercom. Until next time, god bless.
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