Hurt Meets Healer Podcast

FBS - Faulty Belief Systems

• Kim Capps • Season 2 • Episode 3

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**Disclaimer: We discuss real issues about our relationship. This, at times, is raw, emotional, and extremely hard. Use caution and employ grounding techniques if you become triggered by this discussion.

What if the story you tell yourself about pain is the very thing keeping you in it? We go straight at faulty belief systems—those sticky, inherited, and often spiritualized narratives that shape how we interpret betrayal, minimize abuse, and call silence “peace.” From the “elephant in the parlor” of family secrets to church myths about divorce, we unpack how bias, fear, and shame create a reality distortion that blocks healing and keeps couples locked in patterns that feel holy but harm the heart.

Together, we name how FBS shows up in marriages hit by sexual addiction and infidelity: apologies without change, entitlement around sex, and the belief that keeping the peace means burying the truth. We contrast enabling with love, and we talk about the real work of repair—honesty, humility, boundaries, and accountability. You’ll hear raw reflections on fear’s grip, why “you don’t know what you don’t know” becomes a shield, and how head‑on collisions with reality—though painful—often expose the lies we’ve been living under.

If you need a compass, we offer three simple questions to test your thinking: What evidence supports this belief? Am I confusing a thought with a fact? Do I know for certain the worst will happen? We also revisit a grounding principle: mental health is a commitment to reality at all costs. Whether you’re the betrayed or the betraying partner, expect practical language, honest tension, and a call to redefine peace as the presence of truth, humility, and accountability. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs clarity, and leave a review telling us which belief you’re ready to challenge next.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.


This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, and welcome to the Hurt Meets Healer Podcast. I'm Kim Caps, your host and president of Heart Meets Healer LLC, a business tree, business plus ministry that was created to help individuals and couples are walking through the devastating impact of sexual addiction and infidelity. Thanks for joining me today. Season two, episode three, holy smoking Joes. John's actually here today again. Wow. Two out of three.

SPEAKER_02:

Invited back one more time.

SPEAKER_00:

Today our topic is FBS. Do you have a case of FBS? Faulty Belief Systems. And are you ready for today to uh chitty chat chat it out there, John?

SPEAKER_02:

I hope so. I I've certainly uh suffered in this area um a long time. So I have a lot of uh personal experience living in a faulty belief system, but maybe not so much on the other side yet. All right.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, the question, the reason I titled it this way, faulty belief systems, is I'm asking a question. How did we get here? And I think and believe a lot of it surrounds faulty beliefs. I know things have happened to us, and it's um, somebody out there said it, and maybe one of these days I'll find it, that it's not necessarily what happens to you, it's how what you think about it. Right. So it's our impact. So if someone was there for us, like how come two people can suffer and a very similar trauma in the same car wreck? One is, you know, gets help, they have great support team, another doesn't, and they, you know, the one that doesn't maybe falls off the deep end, maybe doesn't, maybe the one that has, but they come out different.

SPEAKER_02:

Two soldiers in the foxhole. Yeah. And one's fine and the other one, you know, isn't.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right. And we we live life, we're human, right? So we all get hurt, we have all experienced trauma. Some we some worse than others, some more than others for extended periods of time. And we all have the opportunity to uh work a healing path. There's there's help out there. We focus on uh betrayal trauma in a marriage, sexual betrayal, addiction, and the trauma that then happens as a result of that on the betrayed spouse. So um, I just want to chat about um belief systems that are considered faulty are well, yeah, because that's the title, right? Faulty beliefs. I got a case of AFBS. I don't have a spray for that. I don't have an ointment. Exactly. Tincher, whatever those things are called, tincture. But so I want to talk about these belief systems that uh are they would be considered faulty because they rely on flawed reasoning, lack of uh empirical support, andor potential to cause harm. And um they persist typically due to our biases, our cognitive biases, um, our social influences, those things that we have around us, people we have around us, andor misinformation. And I want to I'm gonna add interpretation. Our we have filters that things go through when we hear things. And did you ever play that game as a kid? Telephone. Oh, yeah. You sit in a circle and somebody says a sentence, Mary Jane had a cow, and by the time you get to the end, uh Mary Jane is a horrible, or she's this, you know, celebrity, it it goes, it could go either way. Typically, not it doesn't go in a good way, right? Because we hear we uh my experience has been we as human beings are not taught to listen to gain understanding, we hear things, and I it's like uh going through the the doors of Get Smart, where one opens up, one goes, you know, they fan out, or you know, how all those different doors that he had to go through. And yes, that really just aged me a lot by saying that you watch Get Smart. That was like my favorite, one of my favorite shows. I wanted one of those shoe phones, and now you can have one.

SPEAKER_02:

I know I don't need one.

SPEAKER_00:

I have yeah, yep, I can talk on my watch. Um, but yeah, so what'd you come up with on this stuff? Anything?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, a couple things. Um, I know in Inner Excellence he talks about that it's not what happens to us, it's what we think about it. I don't think he I don't remember the author uh Jim Murphy. Yes. He he talks about that, but I don't remember who he credits that.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh yeah, there's some, and I don't know if it's um Henry Cloud. I I think I have heard him say that.

SPEAKER_02:

Um lots of folks have, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and uh in my schooling and in a lot of my classes, I just finished up a mental health um oh my gosh, course that was oh my goodness. Anywho, um it and it talked a lot about this stuff right here and how um it's not the things that happen to us, it's what we end up thinking and believing about the things that happen to us. And I I'll even go out there because this is what's happened to me. It's I think about the people who um what I think about the person who committed the sin against me as well. Because that can get I've I do it. I'm not gonna say I've done, I have done it, I continue to do it.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And that is is such a hard when when it continues when the pain continues to happen, when the events uh continue to happen, uh it really forms a it's hard to not look at a person and go, something's messed up there. Um, I don't know what it is, but something's messed up. And Nietzsche has a quote that and he says, and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. You know, and how we see people really, we don't know what's going on in their lives, we don't know what thoughts they have. I project a lot of thoughts that you probably don't have, but I project because of your actions and because of a history. You know, we have a 38-year history together, right? That um I'm not gonna say I'm right all the time, but a lot of times I'm actually right there, so close, if not spot on. And I wonder, I'm not even gonna say it, we won't go there. But we are here to talk about us and our FBS. Right. Um, I wish I had a spray.

SPEAKER_02:

Exactly. So one of the things I think about this whole, it's not what happened, but how you think about what happened, you know, we're just coming out of the government shutdown, not in the too re not too distant past, and one of the things that that exposed was the whole SNAP issue and this generational poverty. And it it goes back to the and solidifies that point about these faulty belief systems, uh to which I'll put on top of faulty thinking patterns. And you know, we we are taught those patterns and pick up those patterns early in our lives, and unless somebody somehow along the way, or we get exposed to something, you know, go in the military for a long period of time and and have all of that reprogrammed, um, it's really hard to change those belief systems. And it takes a lot of work. I mean, it and it goes back to taking every thought captive, and it's not every other thought, it has to be every thought, right? And most of us, and I'll put myself in that category, aren't vigilant enough, often enough, to hit on taking every thought captive. And and it just makes the whole journey so much more difficult for everybody involved. And yeah, it's you know, it's it's nature and nurture, but more nurture. I mean, it is our it is our nature, our sin nature, right, to be selfish and only think of ourselves and all those things. But we also grow up in these environments and are conditioned how to either think negatively or positively, or you know, all these different things that we pick up on in our families of origin. And then we of course um will add to that with our own stuff, and so it it becomes a pretty interesting maze to work our ways our way out of.

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. Yeah, and for those of us who grew up um literally in the church, you know, my dad was on staff, and so we were there all the time, riding our bikes around, roller skating in the fellowship hall, and just all sorts of things. Though the the things that were taught to us that I believe were I know now were inaccurate. God hates divorce. No, God doesn't hate divorce. He hates the abuse of, and when and they take that passage out of Malachi, people can take that passage out of Malachi incorrectly. God hates abuse of his kiddos, he hates um another human being exercising control over another one, he hates um sexual betrayal, he hates addiction, sin. He hates when we sin against each other. That is a big one right there, and that it's never permissible in a Christian marriage. Yes, it is. I mean, hello. I I have yet to see someone burst into a ball of fire because they got a divorce. Uh yeah. Have you have you actually ever seen anyone burst into flames or like lightning?

SPEAKER_02:

No.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean my parents, your parents multiple times, siblings, yeah. That's not God cares more about our hearts and what's going on in us, and to stay in a toxic and abusive marriage, I think it contradicts or is um contrary to what God calls love. Love doesn't feed an alcoholic more alcohol to heal them.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Just like you don't feed a sex addict sex to heal him. That's not how that works. You don't give a drugie more drug here, this will help you. That's enabling, right? So something like that. Um, I I think, well, I know you have said it before that you believed marriage was gonna fix everything, or um, because you could get all this. I am probably gonna have to put a caveat on this. If you have young children in your vehicle, um, we are gonna be saying adult words here. So uh turn it down or wait until later to listen to this. So just that's the little asterisk there. So please, here you go. I'm gonna give you five seconds. Five, four, three, two, one. All right. Um, you have said that you thought you know you're gonna get sex anytime you wanted it once you, you know, you got married. Well, weren't you getting it anytime you wanted before you got married? So, how is marriage gonna fix that? That's not to answer here, I think, or to solve here, but I just thought of that. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, there are there are a lot of those crazy ideas that we come into life with and that we do life with, and it's only it, it's really most of the time it's when we wreck out on those that we really have to challenge them. And that's that's how most of mine have been challenged in my life. I wish I were wise enough to uh proactively challenge things more often, but I'm not. I I don't have a track record of doing that. Um so most of the time it's you know it's it's uh a head-on collision that leads to challenging those beliefs, and there's a lot of pain involved in sorting all that out and repairing all the damage.

SPEAKER_00:

How's that working for you? Not well. And if it's not working well, where's what's the block to prevent a head-on collision, as you called it?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I think it's just becoming more self-aware and challenging those things. Um being more open to challenge them. Look at, you know, look at the things that I believe and not just simply believe them.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. Yeah, I say get to the why behind the what and the what behind the why. There's there's answers there. And what's the harm? Where what's the oh gosh, what's the word? I ask you a lot, what are you afraid of? What's that gonna do if you answer this question? What it I mean, there's storms rolling in tonight. There is a possibility that you could get struck by lightning, but it's it's no no more than anybody else around here. So I, you know, that question of what are you afraid of and how's that working for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Those are a couple of my pretty frequent questions that I ask you, and then what what the what, John? Why why not stop prevent the head-on collision? You know it's gonna happen, you've experienced it. It's not healthy, it's not helpful.

SPEAKER_02:

But that's the that's the problem, is you don't know what you don't know at times, and uh at least in my experience, uh a lot of my journey has been I didn't challenge those things and didn't realize that I was headed for a collision, and so that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, where I'm trying to get to is being better at really diving into what I believe about something before I really stake a claim and build something on it, before you pontificate and make this big bold, I'm whatever, oh my gosh, I have a list of them that somewhere comes out sounding like donkey. Yeah, well, that's interesting. And so you made a statement you don't know what you don't know, which um kind of scrambled my brain just a slight bit because um my recollection is you know everything about everything. And when which can also be a block, when I enlighten you to let me tell you something about you that you don't know, um it it's as if um I don't know. A dear in the headlights look. That's what that's the only way I can explain the face that you that is looking back at me is this. It's either, oh doggone it, I'm caught, or oh, chat. She's right, and I can't get out of this, and I can't be wrong, because if I'm wrong, I'm gonna burst into a ball of flames, or I'll melt, or I'll turn into a pillar of salt, like Lot's wife. It's the only time I've ever read that that's happened, by the way. Uh, or I don't know. Those are the thoughts that go through my mind from the look. That's the message I receive from the look on your face, is it's like your brain came to a screeching halt.

SPEAKER_02:

That's uh that's the head-on collision with reality. And uh oftentimes, oftentimes, that look comes from the fact that I just never had thought of it that way before.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, balls, dude. I have said things so many different ways. So many different ways, and the same way, and maybe the fifth time, yeah, tenth time. Remember what we when we talked about thanks for sharing that as if you had never heard it before.

SPEAKER_02:

Remember when we talked about plowing?

SPEAKER_00:

I do remember, I think it was the last episode. However, plowing, there's results, right? I drove back to the tank. I was throwing out the old pumpkins from Halloween and um was checking the grass back. And by the way, man, thanks for mowing. It looks really good. You and Bubba, appreciate it. Bubba, if you're listening, thank you. Appreciate you, baby. Um, it looks great. I love a nice mowed past you. And um if I go back there and start plowing, there's gonna be a noticeable difference. Yeah, it takes a lot of it'll take several times to do what needs to happen. However, that first time, that first pass, there is a marked, a very marked difference in what was to what it is now. So to um what I guess what I'm trying to get is what if you just didn't want to receive it. What if it was um uh just flat out rebellion? She's right, but you know what? F her. Because I cannot lose this. I cannot be wrong. I understand that a field takes many ways. It's gonna have to get plowed a lot. There's a lot of crap in there, right? But even the first pass, there's change. I see the look. You're giving me this look, pal. I need a stick so I can reach over there and tap you. Tap, tap, tapity do.

SPEAKER_02:

We sit a long ways away from each other. We are in the same room, but we are not within arm's reach.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh, and that is on purpose to save me from hurting myself.

SPEAKER_02:

It yeah, it takes time, and sometimes I don't want to hear it. It is the hard ground.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, sure, it takes time. There has been information given to you for two, three decades. I know of people who have spoken to you. Um, I know of a counselor who has spoken to you. And your FBS reared its ugly head and said, I cannot be wrong. And this counselor hurt my feelings, and so I'm not going back. If you want to go back, Kim, you can go back. But I'm not going to go back. And here's here's something crazy, John. Sorry about all the if you can hear those dings. My apologies. We have a family member having surgery tomorrow, so my family is chatting back and forth. Um so I read a book by David Stoop, Dr. David Stoop, forgiving our parents, forgiving ourselves. And he says this. And I think this is a big, a big part of our communication issues, and um the inability to break the cycle, whatever is going on in your world. Um anyhow, this is what he said. One factor is that families typically have secrets. Family secrets are the things that have happened and may still be happening that everyone knows about, but no one ever talks about. Family secrets are like having an elephant in a in the parlor. You learn at a very young age that that one question you never ask is, why do we have an elephant in the parlor? If friends or others outside ask about it, the correct answer is what elephant? As the elephant grows, you put a lamp and a lace doily on it and treat it like part of the furniture. In time, you have to avoid the parlor entirely, but you never ask about it or comment on it. And a friend also doesn't ask when he visits. About what may and may not be talked about. These rules prohibit spontaneity in the family relationships. With spontaneity, the real feelings and facts might be revealed. Family members create powerful myths about their histories. FBS. He doesn't say that. That's Kim's, I'm adding that in there. Often leaving out the painful historical shapers of the shame. The children in these families are loyal through their lack of questioning about the past. I'm gonna read that one again to you. The children in these families are loyal through their lack of questioning about the past, thereby colluding in the family rules. Actually, that was a quote by uh Merle Fossum in in the book Facing Shame, Families in Recovery. And Dr. Stoop actually put that quote in his book. So that was Merle A. Fossum in Marilyn Mason wrote a book, Facing Shame, Families in Recovery for. Families in Recovery 4. That was the footnote for my name, my number. Okay, anywho. So, and then Dr. Stoop says this about that. Family secrets are one of the main ways that a family, that family systems resist. What do you think that word is? Change. Ah, bada bing. Everyone keeps doing what he or she has always done as if nothing were wrong. More than a lied agreed upon. Ask almost anyone about his or her family, and the first thing you're likely to hear is one of the family myths. Not surprisingly, family myths are frequently connected to family secrets. The one thing the family's most ashamed of will be the thing they try to cover over with a myth. FBS, baby. FBS. Wowza.

SPEAKER_02:

I remember when we were with Jim and doing our trauma eggs. One of the as you were reading that, one of the things that I listed when we did that section on, you know, our family of origin. I one of the phrases that I wrote keep the secret.

SPEAKER_00:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, we don't talk about Bruno.

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00:

Can't do that. So why now? Ooh, silence. I can't edit out silent. I'm not it I don't have the time, dude. You have to talk. You can't be staring at me during the headlights. Why now? Why do you still keep secrets?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, and that's yeah, that's the the$64,000 question, right?

SPEAKER_00:

That's a million dollar question for you.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't there's a it's it's breaking the cycle. It's it's being brave enough to take the risk. to open up my heart when I'm afraid. And my life experience has been um challenging in that area.

SPEAKER_00:

And so wow, you've had people like beat on you and your whole life. You're about to be a large number of years old.

SPEAKER_02:

You can say it.

SPEAKER_00:

You're about to be 60 and we've been married 36 years of those.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And so I only laid a hand on you twice. Three times. Maybe okay a handful.

SPEAKER_02:

That's not yeah those aren't the those aren't the um factors. But you know there's just things you grow up in with experiences and then things in life depend on those and stack on those and so it's it's hard to break through. And that's where I'm at right now in my journey is breaking through and really intentionally be indifferent. And I suck at it.

SPEAKER_00:

So you're not gonna get pushback from me on that one.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean the the reality is it is a really hard thing to change um and you know going through it professionally right now with this new software it's hard and and I don't like it. I don't like any part of it. And I'm hopeful of the outcome on the other side and that's what keeps me pushing on is that I'm hopeful. And in our you know in our relationship we've had enough good times that even though they weren't great now looking back and understanding all of the trauma and all the addiction and all of the stuff that was in those good times that is what in the hiddenness and all of it that kept it from being great but well and now it's jaded. Right I've experienced enough good times with you to know that that's what I want and so as as awkward as it probably looks and as frustrating as it probably feels you don't have the probably absolutely highly frustrating I'm weary dude it's weary it is I mean I'm I'm not the brightest bulb in the relational chandelier for sure and and I've got a lot of hurts and a lot of trust issues that I'm working through and on and and it it's just it's hard it's hard to do.

SPEAKER_00:

So sure I get that and bless your heart God love you John God does love you. A question comes up for me and maybe this is my FBS rearing its ugly head is I notice you giving yourself a lot of grace for your hurts and your traumas that was not given to me from you hurting me and inflicting pain on me. There was a faulty belief system on that end that said we're not gonna we we don't need to talk about we've already talked about it I said I was sorry stop being hurt if you would just forgive it's because you're not forgiving it's not that you weren't I mean you were repeating the same actions and I would just say hey this is hurting I wouldn't say it like that I would probably yell it scream it I was in betrayal trauma for a long time do you realize that and got zero help from you buddy zero you abandoned me to lick your own I I think a lot manufactured wounds that were you inflicted on you and I wonder if I wonder if you inflicted upon you those things and the and you were able to do that because of faulty beliefs that you carried I'm just curious just a thought there we're not we're not gonna solve it in a whatever 45 minute podcast tonight but um that's a pain for me that I've watched you give yourself grace I've watched you trifectomy by excusing and rationalizing and justifying why it was okay to lie repeatedly to me and then get upset when I held the mirror up and said dude you're lying to me and you would get upset at me for bringing up the same issues did you ever consider how I felt about you continuing the same actions that were causing me pain I watched you consider you a lot but I'm saying the word you quite a bit just curious I'm not just curious I am a bit peeved we've been in a little rough patch and um so moving right along we don't need to be Debbie Downer here well that was a little buzzword. All right so a couple questions since this fear thing has you by your huevos you live it you breathe it you drink it you eat it fear it's a four letter word like your name John four letter word that's the big F word in your life and where is the curiosity in your head that would ask like three questions what evidence do I have that what I believe is actually the truth what's one thing I ask for a a lot evidence right where's the proof right and then am I confusing a thought with a fact did I think this or did it really happen did I manufacture it did this really happen and then number three would be in relation to our um talking about how you're afraid to um confront things and bring up do you know for certain that the worst will happen that that one I can actually answer no is that answer wow yeah so three three little questions to and I think it's uh Jim Crest that says um truth is a commitment to reality at all costs. Is that right? Is it truth? Is it something else? I'm gonna have to go back and find that yeah it wasn't him that it's somebody else it's like a he says it a lot but there's somebody out there that I don't think it's pinned to anybody grok couldn't find the actual person that came up with that.

SPEAKER_02:

And me and Grok were like BFS I forget what I forget what the first word in that is I know it may be truth but it's it's a saying out there grok confirmed it and you know grok is like right but is it truth or is it uh something is a commitment to reality at all cost.

SPEAKER_00:

Y'all if you know it send me an email about that info health or I don't remember info herpmeetshealer.com I do remember the sentence that you it's a commitment to reality at all costs.

SPEAKER_02:

Maybe it's recovery here. You know what I'll find it and on our next one I will bring it I'll I'll put that and give the answer dun dun dun of what that is so go ahead John what else what you got back at me silence for the most part um you gotta say something but well you know you don't have to because I got I got a whole thing here yeah fear make an omelette make an omelet john break some eggs do it exactly um I don't want to deliver up a word salad though just facing be yourself that's Caroline's be yourself facing fears um and and I I'll just speak for me I've lived in some of these fear patterns for almost my entire life and so it it it is surprisingly scary um to face them and you know success breeds success and so I I don't have a very good track record of success so far and so it's hard to keep getting up and trying or or doing it again and and thinking that I'm gonna get a better outcome the next time when I've failed it so many times before and so um mental health is dedication to reality at all there it is cost. M. Scott Peck there you go mental health and so that's the you know that's for me the the challenge in all that is having had such a dismal track record at some of these things that I really and being the person that I really want to be and it makes it so much more challenging the next time because I think back at all the failures and the pain that they cause because they're not without pain um and and that's it's it's a weird but again it's shame that stacks on to that because those two go together and the shame of the hurt that I've caused to you and then my real core desire not to cause you pain. And so it it just and it's that I want to do it perfectly or or not do it and then you know all of those things just kind of start filtering into my mind and it and then you trip and fall like our granddaughter.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly and then jump up where I got it but when I fall typically I land on you yeah and so there's you know it's more than just me failing it's it's the consequence of that and the additional added hurt and it gets to be so overwhelming to because I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you to hurt I believe the second part of that I man it's hard for me to to believe that first part I don't want to hurt you ah yeah I don't I that's not a message I receive sure I believe you don't want me to hurt because you can't handle that it it it reflects on you. I I get that and thank you for sharing all of that because that actually segues into our next episode which is why is change so darn hard and it boy it opens up a can of questions that I'm gonna I'm gonna give a little sneak preview because these just came to my mind and so it'll give you some things to chew on and why you became really good at being bad you became an expert at behaving badly you became an expert at finding the tools and the necessary things you needed to console yourself if you will you found people you you've searched them out why is it so darn difficult to do the right thing for you I'm not I I don't know I'm not married to anybody else I'm married to you and that's that's my big question is why is it so hard to do the right thing you worked very hard at doing the wrong thing and you succeeded a plus plus plus plus plus plus and I can tell by the look on your face you don't like to hear that why can't that be a redemption story why does it lead to shame every time I ask why can't it be yeah I did that holy cow I was a poo head I did those things no I get silence y'all hear that silence there you go welcome to my world everyone this happens I ask questions and I thought you were I state facts I thought what you were doing was teasing the next I know Lord I wasn't gonna get into the next episode we're not gonna get to the question we gotta wait for it so far we're not recording that yet oh my apologies Lord have mercy I get on the road man I feel sorry for you John that you you gotta my what'd you say million questions then I get bombarded by a million questions yeah because I'm I don't have answers freaking answer me neither do I oh yes you do I i believe that you do have answers you are just um yeah you want the hippie bee piece kuma ya and I will say this one last little quote here and then um man episode four y'all buckle up buckle up and I'll have to put the adult morning or yeah you have to be over 18 on that one as well um dysfunctional people often confuse control or peace with control dysfunctional people often confuse peace with control they believe calm comes when no one challenges them when truth is buried beneath silence but true peace is never the absence of conflict it's the presence of truth humility and accountability when someone resists real peace it's typically because they fear exposure more than they value healing that's a good quote right I'm looking at you I can still see you you're not totally hidden behind my monitor I'm looking at you all right holy moly y'all welcome to the craziness of us boy we sure appreciate you joining us on this third episode I'm perplexed that you do but delighted that you do I just I pray that something some little nugget that we talk about or maybe our back and forth that you know what guys you're not alone out there ladies and gentlemen you are not alone we don't have the answers we are trudging through this um as I don't even know if we're doing it as best we can I I think um sometimes we use a lot more excuses than just putting on our big girl panties and let's do this or heck the sumo wrestler suits and just boom knock each other down one of these days I'm gonna get some of those but anyhow we sure appreciate you being here and listening to our rantings and ravings and conversations and um and unanswered questions. There you go which there will be more there'll be answers on I you know what I am I'm not hopeful that there will be answers on the next episode I I will have a lot more questions and I let's just say if you want to hear Kim shocked apparently John's gonna have answers next the next episode make sure I have the questions ahead of time no don't do well if you're honest what's the problem if you're open yeah and honest because a lot of willing to be say things oh no it I like to be able to think it out and that's not not uh healthy for a podcast that's too much silence oh my word well um I might give you one or two I'm not gonna give you them all just you know it's it's live it's and some things just come to my head and out they come so it is what it is God love you there John thank goodness he does oh man no kidding right and y'all boy bless you I just pray that God's love will surround you and his peace will comfort you through whatever you're going through at this time thank you for joining us God bless thank you for taking the time to listen today remember you are more than what happened to you we'd be honored to come alongside and guide you on your healing journey connect with us at www dot hurtmeetshealer dot com until next time God bless

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Kim Capps

Host
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John Capps

Co-host