The Gift Of Grief

Grief can feel like a heavy heart you can’t set down, and the worst part is how many people expect you to carry it quietly or quickly. I’m walking through a fresh season of loss after my mom passed away, and I wanted to slow down and tell the truth about what grief really does to us, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. If you’ve lost someone you love, or you’re mourning the loss of a marriage, relationship, or the life you thought you’d have, I want you to hear this clearly: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. 

We spend time with biblical grief and Christian mourning, starting with the simple but powerful verse “Jesus wept.” Jesus steps fully into sorrow at Lazarus’ tomb, and we talk about what that means for your tears, your questions, and even your anger. I also walk through the difference between godly grief and worldly grief (2 Corinthians 7:10) and why turning toward God in pain can soften our hearts instead of hardening them. 

From there, I share how grief, when surrendered to Christ, can become a strange kind of gift. Not because the loss is good, but because God is near to the brokenhearted and wastes nothing. We talk about how grief can deepen intimacy with Jesus, expand our ability to comfort others, clarify what truly matters, and shape us into the likeness of Christ. I close with practical steps for grieving well: giving yourself permission to mourn, resisting isolation, staying connected to safe believers, and anchoring yourself in real hope because Jesus is alive. 

If this helps you, subscribe, share it with someone who’s carrying a quiet kind of pain, and leave a review so more hurting hearts can find it. What part of grief do you wish people understood better?

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2026, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

Transcript

Welcome And Naming The Loss

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Hi, and welcome to the Hurt Meet Taylor Podcast. I'm Kim Caps, your host and president of Hurtney Taylor LLC, a business tree, business plus ministry that was created to help individuals and couples walking through the devastating impact of sexual addiction and infidelity. Thanks for joining me today. Hey y'all, and welcome back. Today's episode is one that uh I didn't intend to put in the list of podcast uh episodes this season. However, um I do podcasts related to my life. And right now my life is in a season of grief. And so I've I titled this episode The Gift of Grief. And uh I'm so glad you're joining me today. Um the reason I titled this was uh is because my mom passed away recently, and um thankfully to a lot of work that I've done, I I know how to grieve. I don't like it. I um I don't like the heavy heart. And uh if you're listening today with a heavy heart, uh if you've suffered the loss of someone that you love dearly, if life has handed you a loss that still hurts, the loss of a marriage, the loss of a relationship, I just want you to know you're not alone. There's nothing wrong with you, you're not failing. And our grief, my grief, is not a sign that my faith is weak. It's often the place where God meets us most tenderly. And it may sound odd that I would call grief a gift. How can something that hurts this much ever be called a gift? And that's what I want to sit with today. I want to sit with that tension and possibly even uh do another follow-up episode because I don't want to rush past pain. There aren't any easy answers. I want to take a look honestly at what the Bible says about grief, that God is near to the brokenhearted, and he can even take our deepest sorrow and turn it into something that brings us closer to him and possibly even change us into more like Jesus and become a we can become a a uh better image bearer of him. So um I miss my mom greatly. And I hope to um just be able to get through this episode. I may not make it all the way through, but uh we'll give it a go. I'll go as far as I can, and and then, you know, I'll just follow up next week and we'll do it again. So um I know the first step is naming, naming the reality, naming that grief. I discovered grief is love with nowhere to go. And it is, it's the natural human response when something or someone precious is taken from us. And I've had a lot taken from me. I had my idea of what marriage was taken away from me. I had uh what I thought was a um marital relationship taken away from me. And uh now I'm not gonna say my mom was taken from me. I I believe she is in heaven and is uh rejoicing with Jesus and her sisters and many other loved ones who've gone before us. But we we live in a fallen world, and because of that, loss is inevitable. Death entered through sin. Uh Romans 5, 12 tells us that. So grief isn't something that God originally designed. This is just Kim talking here. I'm not uh I don't want to put thoughts in your head or anything. I'm just giving you my opinion. I think grief isn't something that God originally designed as a good gift, it's the painful consequence of living in a broken world. Now that doesn't mean that God isn't with us and comforts us. The Bible clearly says that. And the Bible never tells us to pretend the pain isn't real. Jesus himself, fully God, fully man, stood at the tomb of his friend Lazarus and wept. John 1135, one of the shortest, yet the most powerful verse in all of Scripture, I think. Jesus wept. Jesus wept, and which is interesting. The man of sorrows, the one who knew, he knew the future, he knew he was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, still entered fully into the sorrow of that moment. And if Jesus didn't rush past grief,

Jesus Wept And Holy Anger

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then I think we shouldn't either. Wonder if that's what it was. But he knew. He knew that he was gonna raise him from the dead. And here's here's what it says in the uh New Living Translation, John 11. I'm gonna start in verse 33. When Jesus saw her, Mary, weeping, and saw the other people wailing with her. A deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. Oh, see, and and it's okay to get angry. Jesus just did a deep anger. He didn't just say, Oh, yeah, he's kind of ticked off. No, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. Where have you put him? He asked them. They told him, Lord, come and see. Then Jesus wept.

unknown 8:13

Man.

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And then it goes on. In verse 38, Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb. A cave with a stone rolled across the entrance. And still angry. And that's part of the grieving process as well, is anger comes with it. Why did this have to happen? Why is why is sin in the world? Why does this hurt so much? And I think it's okay to ask why. I think it's okay to um ask God these questions. Talk it out with with a counselor, talk it out with a trusted friend. The Psalms are full of honest laments from David. He cries out, Oh, how long, O Lord? How long? I mean, he he pours out confusion and anger and despair, and God does not rebuke him for that. And even more so, he writes all this down so it's preserved in Scripture, so that we have a language and we can follow the example when our own words fall short. And so the first gift, if we'll call it that, is permission. Permission to feel the weight, permission not to quote, get over it on someone else's timeline, permission to bring the full measure of your sorrow into the presence of your Abba father without pretending. I had someone the other day, um, I was sharing my process, and I she just indignant, I don't say spoke nicely, but she kind of raised her voice, just stop it, just stop it. And I'm like, and no, I'm not gonna stop it. This is a process, and we don't work our process out on anyone else's timeline but our own. And if it takes six months, it takes six months. If it takes three months, it takes three months. It is your timeline, it is my timeline. Now I'm not gonna camp out in grief because I know my mom lives. She went from life to life. It was just unexpected for us as her family, as her kids, and it was just unexpected. And so I think that's the shock of it. And the grief of my marriage, unexpected. That and that still grieves me today, and it's been many years. Um, I get uh reminders of it every dang day, and I um I know how to work through those reminders. Some days I do better than others, and when I'm in this type of grief for the loss of my mom, those uh reminders, those triggers, uh seem to hurt a little bit more than usually than they usually do. And so it's grief upon grief. And it's hard. Uh I'm not gonna pretend it's easy. I'm not going to uh sugarcoat it. It's hard. And not all grief is the same. Uh Paul draws a very big distinction in 2 Corinthians 7 10, when he writes, for godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret. Whereas worldly grief produces

Godly Grief Versus Worldly Grief

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death. That's that's big stuff. Second Corinthians 7 10. I'm going to look at it in a different translation here. Because he he starts out telling the Corinthians, he says, I'm not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you. And I think you're talking about 1 Corinthians. I'm not sorry I sent that letter to you. Though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I send it. Not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There's no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. Godly grief is different. Still hurts, still weeps, but it turns to God. We turn toward God in that grief and allows the pain to expose what we have been trusting in more than Him, what I've placed as an idol in front of God. And it that kind of grief softens the heart rather than hardening it. It produces humility and ultimately hope and dependence on God. And this is, I think, where the uh tension, where the paradox begins. Grief, when surrendered to Christ, becomes a gift. Not because the loss itself is good, but because God is good and is able to use even this to accomplish something deeper in us. And what does this even what can it look like? So it can look like four things. It can look like grief can drive us to a deeper intimacy with Jesus. When all the facades that we rested on and relied on get knocked away, we discover where our faith was really placed. Was it on circumstances and this life around us, or was it on Jesus Himself? And a lot of times, and I can tell you from my experiences in the darkest seasons of my life is where I experienced the love of God the most, the nearness, the comfort of God. Psalm 34, 18. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. He's near, not distant. He's not waiting for us to get ourselves together, to clean up, to wipe the tears and runny noses. He's near in our grief. And second, I believe that our grief expands our capacity to comfort others. Second Corinthians 1, 3 and 4 tells us that the God of all comfort comforts us in all our afflictions so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the same comfort that we ourselves receive from God. The comfort we receive is never meant to stop with us. It's meant to flow through us. Those who have walked through deep, deep valleys of grief often become the safest people for others who are grieving. That's a gift. That's a gift, y'all, not only to us, but to those around us. And third, grief clarifies what truly matters. Loss has a way of kind of stripping away all the po-pa and turning our focus on eternal things. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians

Four Ways Grief Can Grow Faith

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4, 17 and 18 that this light and momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison as we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. You see, grief can reorient our priorities. It can loosen our grip on these earthly things that aren't going to last. And we can tighten our hold on the one Jesus who will never ever leave us. And fourth, grief shapes us into the likeness of Christ. Romans five, verses three through five tell us that suffering produces wonderful things, endurance, and endurance produces character. Character produces hope. James one verses two through four calls us to count it all joy when we meet trials of various kinds because the testing of our faith produces steadfastness. Now, none of this means that the pain is enjoyable. It's not. I hate it. It does mean that God wastes nothing. See, even our tears can be part of our sanctification. And it's okay to cry. I I sometimes wonder if we in the Western world have messed things up on when it comes to this. Mourning. It's it's an active, it's a verb, it's an action word. Grief, mourning, it's action. It's not just sitting and I don't know, staring off into space. Maybe that's how some people grieve, but it is meant to be an action word. We cry, we yell in a safe place, maybe in the back pasture, in our closet, into a pillow. We um, you know, go run around the block or do some kind of physical activity to work out the energy. It's active, it's action. So how do we practically walk this grief out? And I'm I think three three things. And this is what I am doing myself. I'm giving myself permission to be sad, give yourself permission to grieve, give yourself permission to lament, to mourn. Use the psalms, pray them out loud, tell God exactly how you feel. You know what? He already knows, and he can handle it. Secondly, stay connected to your brothers and sisters in Christ. I know for me, I want to isolate. I am so sick of people asking me questions. What about this? What about that? I am like I'm gonna run away, and you know what, I'll resurface here in a couple weeks. But I can't do that. I can't do that. I've got jobs, I've got things that rely on me to be present. I want to isolate. Resist that pool, the P-U-L-L, the pool to isolate. Yes, we need time alone. Find trusted people who love the Lord, who love you, and allow them to carry some of that weight with you. Can we can we be, can we bear one another's burdens, as Galatians says, so and so fulfill the law of Christ. Stay concerned. Connected. And third, hope. There is hope. Keep your eyes on

Practical Steps For Mourning Well

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the hope that is coming. We grieve, but we do not grieve as those who have no hope. First Thessalonians 4 13. Because Jesus is alive. Death does not get the final word. And one day he will wipe every tear from our eyes. Death shall be no more. Neither shall there be mourning or crying or pain anymore. Revelation 21, 4. Our future is secure. And that can be our anchor in this season, in this storm of grieving. So if you're in the middle of deep grief right now, oh, I just want to share with you, you don't have to force yourself to see this gift today. Some days, I know for me, some days the only prayer you can I can pray is, Lord, help my unbelief. I believe, help my unbelief. And that's enough. Jesus is so gentle and kind with us. He's crazy in love with us. He's crazy in love with you and with me. Let me pray for us. Oh God my Father, you are the God of all comfort. You come near to the brokenhearted. For every person listening, including myself, who carries a heavy load of grief, would you draw near right now? Would you meet them in the ache? God, give them courage to bring their full bucket of sorrow to you. No mask, no performance, just their raw selves. Turn their worldly grief into godly grief that leads them to a deeper relationship with you, a more close understanding of your heart. Comfort them, God, with the comfort that only you can give. And use even this pain to make us more like your son, Jesus, who knows what it is to weep, who knows what it is to be sad. God thank you that because of Jesus, grief will not have the last word. One day you will make all things new. And until that day, Father, hold us close. And it's because of Jesus, and in his name that I pray. Amen. Thank y'all for listening. I may continue next week, next time. I'm behind because of the illness that my mom went through. I'm behind on recording, so um, I may do

Prayer, Hope, And How To Respond

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one more episode, continuing on with the gift of grief and delve into because I need this. I need this for me. I hope that you will see more of who our loving God is through this time. If you're grieving, He will meet you where you are. He loves you. And if you have a story of how God's met you in your grief, well, I would sure love to hear it. You can put it in the uh, there's some way you can respond to these podcasts. I'm not sure at the moment, but what it is. Or shoot me an email, Kim at hurtmeetshealer.com. I sure appreciate y'all's time tonight. God is a good God, and he's good at being God, and he loves you. Until next time. God bless. Thank you for taking the time to listen today. Remember, you are more than what happened to you. We'd be honored to come alongside and guide you on your healing journey. Connect with us at www.hurtmeetshealer.com. Until next time. God bless.